Confessions of an Equestrianoholic

What a great day. Not only was the weather beautiful for early November – sunny and warm around 73, but Alfie and I had a fantastic lesson. We worked on our shoulder exercises and he did well with them. As I was riding him today, my brain pulled up memories of how we were when we first met. And then fast forward to now, and man, I love who we’ve become as a team.

Those first few years, actually the first 3 were filled with lots of ups and downs. I was learning how to ride, how to become a horse owner, how to become his protector and how to become his leader. He was learning how to trust me.

Despite all the amazing things we’ve done together, I never realized how much of those wonderful adventures were all on him. I was a passenger for most of them. He took charge so to speak, and he did it well. He took care of me, we had fun, but I was definitely not in control – it honestly was a lack of confidence and – it was an incredible amount of trust I had for him without even knowing it. Sure, I remember being anxious and nervous for most of our rides, and on a conscious level questioning his every move and worrying about if he was gonna buck, or gallop or rear – which he never did. But now looking back, I have a better understanding and I honestly trusted him with my life. Somewhere in the last year or so, I stopped being a passenger. I became a strong leader for him while still completely trusting him – and the result of that is who we are today as a pair.

Without this realization – which happened while I was working on leg yielding exercises today – our relationship became so much more clear.

After our lesson, one of the newest boarders came to ride her horse. Her horse is about the size of Alfie, but he’s very muscular. He spent the majority of his life jumping so when I tell you the horse is muscular he’s muscular – he actually has like a 6 pack ab thing going on. Super strong, super nice, super quiet and a bit stubborn to get moving. He’s been at the barn just over a month.

After chatting with my trainer and his owner today, I was given permission to take Maestro for a spin. Instantly my tummy got butterflies – but not scared butterflies, actual excitement. As I’m getting my helmet on I have yet another memory flashback to my early riding days. Actually, to the person I was a year and a half ago. I would’ve been scared to ride a different horse. I was scared to ride different horses. I only trusted Alfie. I only trusted him, but now, I trust myself and my abilities and my tools of communication. Again, I’m not a passenger, I’m a leader.

Our ride was lovely, he’s comfy and smooth but strong. He will challenge me, just like Alfie and Martini do.

His owner said I can ride him for one of my weekly lessons and I just couldn’t help but smile. Smiling because the old me, the one who put all her trust into the horse without trusting herself, the old me would never have gotten on. I love this version of myself. I love who I have become and I really look forward to seeing all that I am capable of.💔🐴

Dressage – it’s dancing with your horse. Beautiful fluid movements that not only showcase the athleticism of the horse, but the rider.

Dressage saddles are not only comfortable but with padding in certain areas it places your legs where they need to be. When you are first learning any discipline, the length of your stirrups plays a role. Dressage riders tend to ride with longer stirrups than say a person who is jumping. Having ones leg long and extended with only a slight bend in the knee means the rider has to have a strong core seat where both legs can work independent of each other. It takes time to build that strength.

While on my Facebook feed last night, one of the top dressage stables in NY posted a beautiful picture of one of their boarders and her horse. Her body position was stunning – long legs, elbows properly bent and her hands were even, together and low. So I send the picture to my trainer and proudly tell her – I want to look like this, so let’s make it happen. So for today’s lesson – I lengthened my stirrups by 2 holes. Go big or go home is what I always say.

The first thing I notice – my arthritic right hip feels much looser – and my left hip was the one that was a bit tight today. I also notice that my heel position was great, my heels were down but it wasn’t a forced movement, they just sort of went into position naturally.

I give Alfie a squeeze to walk on and he takes a few steps and stops. I squeeze him again and he does the same thing – a few steps and stops. I realized it was because he felt my different position and thought something was wrong. My legs were not where they normally are, my entire balance was different and he wasn’t sure of himself. I gave him a pat on the neck, told him it’s all good and tapped him with my stick of influence. He walked forward and I could feel how his body was moving. He exhaled and realized ok, she knows what she’s doing, she’s strong and balanced, so yeah, I’m good.

Our lesson went very well. Alfie is moving into the contact, he’s rounding his body, he’s carrying himself so beautifully. Today, I felt like an actual dressage rider. Granted my stirrups have a ways to go with more length but today was a huge leap forward for both of us.

After our lesson, it was time for more hydro hay while we waited for our appointment with the farrier to get new shoes.

When people look at Alfie, they are stunned at how old he is. He doesn’t look his age at all, and this last full year of consistent weekly lessons – even the break we had to take because of COVID – his body has transformed into one of strength, balance and health. ❤️🐴

An absolutely beautiful fall day. I get to the barn and walk past Alfie’s stall where I’ve got his ribbons still proudly displayed, I can’t hide the huge smile on my face. My boy. Oh how far we’ve come.

I start walking towards his field, looking at all the beautiful trees changing colors, the air is crisp, the sun is warm. As I approach his paddock, I see him. He sees me. He is standing next to his buddy Texas. I don’t say a word, I don’t call his name, I just look at him. And he comes to the gate. He knows me. He knows I’m his human. He’s happy to see me. I get his halter on, he lowers his head so I can kiss his nose. Oh that nose, how much I love that nose. As I go in for a few more kisses I smell the smell. It’s the smell that is what gets children hooked on horses when they are young. A few times a year, horses get that smell when the seasons change. It doesn’t last long, so you have to savor it. The aroma is hard to describe, a bit musky and sweet, the instant I smell it, I close my eyes and I’m a small child riding a pony for the first time. What an amazing way to start my day with him.

As Alfie eats his hydro hay, I start grooming him. It rained during the week so he’s got a nice layer of dried mud on himself lol. As the weather is getting cooler and his winter coat is growing in, bubbles and beauty bath time with momma is done until Spring. His winter coat is coming in nicely, when it’s fully grown in, he turns into my giant teddy bear.

I tack him up and into the arena we go. And as a side note, he stands now perfectly still at the mounting block. He’s respectful and patient. 👍🏻

Our lesson today focused on bending, working on our haunches and shoulder work and stopping. We are fine tuning our skills at the walk. Alfie was pretty focused today, and he didn’t give me a hard time with anything until the end of the lesson when he was tired.

At one point we were working on our forward walk and he broke out into a trot. Alfie wanted to move today. So we did. In fact, his trot was the most forward trot he’s had in awhile. My seat position was great, going in my stronger direction my diagonals were perfect, in the other direction, not so great but getting better.

I said to my trainer, if Alfie is telling me he WANTS to trot, we don’t argue with him, we go with it. I was even able to trot the corners of the arena as we went around to the other side. Normally we only trot in a straight line and walk the turns but today, nope, we trotted them – his idea, not mine.

Our lesson ends on a high note. I get him untacked and back into his stall. I make him some more hydro hay bricks, loving the faces he’s making towards me while I break up the bricks. We have our usual conversation…”Alfie it’s coming, I gotta make it, some of these bricks are hard to break up, some are easy…you yelling at me doesn’t make me go faster lol.”

While his hydro hay is cooking, I just look at my old man and I count my blessings everyday that he is in my life. I am so incredibly grateful for horses. 3 days a week I spend time with these animals. Each has their own personality, each of them teaches us something different. These animals are my sanctuary from the outside world. When I’m with Alfie and the other horses, whatever is happening outside the barn doesn’t matter. Only they matter. And for that, I am most grateful. So if you have that one place or activity that takes you away from the hardships of life, fight for it and never give it up. That is worth fighting for.❤️🐴